Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The problem with maternity clothes

No, this is not me.  My "Body by Baby" is considerably more fluffy.  As was my "Body Before Baby".  What?  I like food...  http://fortwofitness.com/themes/body-by-baby/body-by-baby-racerback-tank-top
So, many of you out there in cyber-world have been subjected to maternity clothes at some point in time.  If that time was over 20 years ago, you most likely have much more to gripe about than I do.  However, if you have had to wear them recently, you've probably run into one of the following problems.  If you haven't - good for you, you're very blessed.

1. Maternity clothing is either fitted to a specific body shape (i.e., no hips, short torso) or it is the clothing equivalent of a large paper sack with the only fitted region being between your boobs and ever-burgeoning belly.  I know empire-waists can be trendy, but when they're one of your only options - not as cute.
I'm sorry, but I really hate this top - it would fall under the "paper sack" category  Consequently, the above boobs gather always makes me look like I'm wearing a moo-moo.  Boo.  Photo courtesy of   http://maternity-dress.blogspot.com/2009/03/maternity-dress-trendy-maternity.html
2. For the amount of time you are going to be wearing them, they are insanely expensive.  If you're lucky, you can find some discount items at either Ross or even Goodwill, but it's a crapshot at best.  You could hold on to all your clothes to last through all of your pregnancies, and if you're like me and have been pregnant the majority of the past five years, that works out fine.  But, if you put some space in between your kids, the clothes you keep may be an eyesore of fashion faux pas by the time you pull them out again.  (And who knew that "faux pas" singular was spelled the same as "faux pas" plural??  Yeah, I looked it up...)

3. "Tagless" just means there's no tag at the neckline.  But some idiot in the design department thought "HEY!  Let's put a really big and itchy tag in the side seam right on the belly, which everyone knows isn't itchy already when you're pregnant.  I'm SURE preggos will be fine with that!"  Bah...this one may be the most annoying one for me.

4. You buy a bunch of clothes at the beginning of your pregnancy and think "I should have plenty of room to grow into these" and inevitably, the bottom of your belly is hanging out of most of them by month 7.

5. Maternity pants need maternity suspenders.  Seriously, I can't tell you how many times a day I hike these suckers up so I'm not impersonating a plumber.

6. Maternity models - they're like regular models with a pillow tucked under their shirts.  For real.  Who looks like that when they're pregnant?!  And if you want to get a kick out of a whole bunch of unrealistic preggo models, go here.

Photo property of A Pea in the Pod   http://www.apeainthepod.com/Product.asp?product_Id=660990022&MasterCategory_Id=MC3
That being said, there are some really cute maternity clothes at there that I'd totally buy if I could 1.) afford them and 2.) fit into them.  Here are a few:

This one's actually not too pricey - might have to go pick one up ;)  http://www.trendytummymaternity.com/tayla-maternity-top-maternity-clothes.html#more
http://for-new-moms.blogspot.com/2010/06/maternity-tops-must-have-for-every.html
For the casual mommy like me:


http://www.maternity-clothing-fashions.com/store/PPF/parameters/1325_379/more_info.asp
http://www.isismaternity.net/maternity-clothes-what-you-should-consider-part2/

And finally, This site has some great rockabilly and punk maternity clothes for the non-traditional preggo.

What about you, ladies?  Thoughts?  I'd love to hear about them!


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